Grown-up Time-outs

When my kids were young, the popular way to correct undesirable behavior was the time-out. The then de rigueur parenting books poo-pooed saying “no” too often and too sternly, and instead suggested we put our children in a quiet corner, all alone, and let them “think” about what they had done that was unacceptable and how they could become better people. I must remember to ask my grown kids whether or not their time-outs were effective.

But, I digress. What I really want to point out is that as an adult…I love my time-outs. In grown-up speak time-outs are, in my mind, meditation. There’s lots of data out there about the benefits of meditation, so I thought I would share five of my most favorite ways to imbibe:

Heide’s Top 5 Grown-up Time-outs

(Note: Time-outs are most effective without human companionship.)

 #5. Cup of Tea Time-out: First thing in the morn or in the late afternoon put the kettle on and brew something invigorating (green tea) or something soothing (mint tea). Curl up in a quiet place, all alone, breathe in the aroma, sip, close your eyes, and just be.

#4. Pet the Dog Time-out: After the dog(s) have exercised and been fed, find a sofa or chair to curl up and stroke them on the chest or crown of the head. It calms them down…and us humans, too. Cats are a good substitute.

#3. Flickering Flame Time-out: Light a candle, fireplace, or fire pit. Sit comfortably beside it and stare into the flames—blue and white. Stare more—yellow and red. Stare deeply. Let thoughts and troubles drift away like the sparks that float to the sky and die out.

#2. Birdbath Time-out: For those who have a birdbath, a bird feeder, or a tree (balcony) with a bird, sit quietly with the bird(s) in view. Watch the bathing, flapping, singing, nibbling, community…the life. Feel your own heart beat. Feel how grateful you can be for birds.  Maybe even ponder the thought that all those worries are “for the birds.”

#1. Sunrise/Sunset Time-out: This is my all time favorite because I have been fortunate to live in Wisconsin, California, and Montana where I have witnessed incredible sunrises and sunsets. Settle in at a good vantage point and watch the change from dark to light or light to dark. When I do this, I feel the vastness. I feel the connection to something bigger than just little old me. This time-out is truly Awe-some.

There are other types of grown-up time-outs, but I have shared my favorite with you. And in keeping a promise to myself regarding my blog posts, I must tell you the total truth. Sometimes, I am truly decadent. Sometimes, I indulge in the trifecta of the adult time-out. I hold a cup of mint tea in my hands, while gazing into the fire, my pups cuddled around me. Yep, time-outs may not have been that effective during the child-rearing years, but as an empty nester they’re priceless.

PS: My grown kids say they can’t remember their time-outs at all.