At twenty-three I drove cross-country to find fame and fortune. Westward bound, I steered a red Ford Cavalier with a manual shift. I sometimes ground my way downhill with a sixteen-wheeler on my tail. Through countryside and cityscape, past field and forest, along mountain and river, into the desert I traveled until I hit the mighty freeways of southern California with their cloverleafs and multi-lanes.
The day I crested a hill and entered the Los Angeles basin, the robin’s egg blue sky was the perfect backdrop for the iconic Hollywood sign. The Beach Boys on an Oldies station along with adrenaline fueled me like twenty dollars of unleaded gas did the Cavalier. It was an adventure of youth with everything from Texas toast to Santa Monica palms instilling awe.
Since that fateful trek that would determine a dramatically different lifestyle for a northern Wisconsin girl, I’ve been told how courageous it was to attempt such a thing. How fearless to move to crazy California with a car payment and a net worth of around five-hundred dollars.
True, California did have a wild and crazy side, but I was not fearless, just the opposite. I fretted over getting a flat tire, going broke, if I had enough clean underwear. I worried about being swallowed up in a big city and never being seen again. It was fear that set me in motion and urged me on, mile after mile, day after day. Fear was the emotion that a dysfunctional and traumatic childhood had groomed me to understand. I cozied up to it like my dog Teddy does in my lap.
A little over a month into 2022, fear seems to be popping up again. The carrot on the stick, at the start of a new year, is the hope that it will be happier, wealthier, healthier, and more peaceful. Concerns around wellness, savage weather, finances, politics, and yes, world peace, have rendered many of us impotent. How can one move forward with resolutions while carrying such dreadful burdens?
Well, fear can, as it did for me so many years ago, be a catalyst. Fear can rev us up so that we can change our world, or at the very least our day, or someone else’s. Fear, can be the untapped energy source that grants us the power to be kind to the over-worked cashier even after we’ve waited in a long line to pay a lot more for a pound of ground beef and bunch of carrots.
Fearful or fearless? Perhaps it doesn’t matter, because each spark of anxiety can be transcended into something good. It’s time to seize the day.
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I needed to read this today. Thank you. It all resonates!
❤️
I am happy to oblige. You are on such a journey of adventure and sometimes you feel like there is no place to call home. I get it.
Well said, HB! A prevalent reflection of youth, and wise advice to be heeded—
Bud, one of the most wonderful aspects of blogging is staying in touch. You remember me from those LA days, and I certainly remember you. Life takes us down lots of paths–some scary–some adventurous and some plain old humdrum. So happy to hear from you. Have a fabulous 2022.
As always, Heide, insightful and gives us all a tweak in perspective. Though my take on fear is a little different, the intensity of the emotion can, indeed, be a driving (almost irresistible) force compelling us to move forward. It can render people impotent as you say, but it can turn you towards a path you may not have considered before. Certainly, we are all blessed by knowing you and what has shaped your life! Blessings!
That’s what I love about writing about emotions, perspectives, and kindness– it gets other people to share and reflect on their own thoughts. I wish you a fabulous 2022 and fully expect to meet in person.
Absolutely! I would love that!
Thank you, Heide. This made me smile because, at 19, I made a similarly scary trip, but in the opposite direction: from San Diego to Manhattan.
Yes—it’s time to seize the day.
Blessings!
I can see you doing it, Sonia. I think it is part of what makes us writers and editors–experience. Wishing you a fabulous 2022.
I remember when you arrived! It was a happy time!
It was a very happy time, as were all the days we spent together in LA and in Milwaukee. Good memories.
Yes, seize the day! And look for the good. Lovely.
Thank you, Marci. And thanks for the recording.
All too often we get caught up in our drama of the moment that we forget to look back at what we have accomplished and overcome along life’s journey already. What a great reminder that fear can be a catalyst for truly positive outcomes. Thank-you!
Thank you, Tracy. I know how busy you are and am happy you had the time to read my musings. I truly wish you an exciting and wonderful 2022.
Heide!
I’m reading this, smiling, enjoying and knowing all you’ve written to be true for you and for so many, myself included.
As my dad used to say “God be with the days when you’d ‘chance your arm’ at anything ” (not an expression used here in USA)
I’m always delighted to spend time with you, Ms Wisconsin girl in California.
Big Love,
Karen xoxo
I am so happy it put a smile on your face, just like spending time together does for us both. Have a lovely summer and maybe, just maybe, you will hit Yellowstone this fall. XO
Amen, Heide, Amen!!!
Ain’t it the truth. Hope you are 100% recovered and enjoying life. Love you…